Dear Bella,
I just wanted to let you know that I think about you all the time. I love you more every day with this love that is just unexplainable, except to say that it comes straight from God. You are mine in every way already. You have occupied our hearts. You have occupied our home with all the little reminders we have out about you. You are in our dialogues. You are in my dreams. That's where I see you the most. You are still faceless, but I know that it's you because when I see you my heart does flips! Sometimes I lay awake thinking about you and I almost feel like you're haunting me. I know that's not the right word, but I can't think of a better way to put it. I wonder if you're born yet. I wonder if you're still in your birthmommy's tummy. Is she a teenage girl? I read yesterday that almost 30% of pregnancies in El Salvador are with girls under 19. I wish I could just hug your birthmom & tell her that everything is going to be ok. I wonder if you have not even been conceived yet. If you've entered our world, where are you living? Are you lonely? Are you cold? Hungry? Does anyone kiss you goodnight? I wish that I could meet all of your needs. It kills me to not be with you right now. Every night, Daddy and I pray for you with Ava. We pray that God puts 10,000 angels around you. We pray that God holds you so close in the palm of His hand. We pray that He sings over you, wherever you are, as you sleep. We pray that He is building HOPE into your tiny little heart. Hope for a Savior who will love you above all else. Hope for a family that you can call your own. Hope for a future. You grow more in my heart every day--just like a baby would grow in my belly. I am so proud to be your Mom! Ava is learning to say your name, although it usually comes out more like "Bubba". But that's ok--we know what she means. Everytime she sees a heart she says "Bubba" because we're teaching her that that's where you are--in our hearts. She has a shirt with hearts all over it & she always wears it so proudly--it's like she knows it's Bella's shirt. We're on our way, baby girl, so hold on, ok? We will be done with our paperwork tomorrow. What joy I have in my heart as I write those words. It's taken us so much longer than we had hoped, but tomorrow, we will be done. We're driving to Austin to get our final document and to begin our apostilling process. In the next 2 weeks we will hopefully be submitting our dossier. And then we will just have to wait, to hope, to work and prepare for your homecoming. And as soon as God sees fit--when you're ready, and we're ready--we'll be coming for you. So don't lose hope. We're on our way as fast as we can! But for now, just know that we love you completely. You are ours. You belong, my dear, sweet, Bella!